i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
