Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i believe in u and ur pee
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
