listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
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