He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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