To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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