I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
