He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
