If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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