just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
