I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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