i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
