i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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