Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
