You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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