I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
