also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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