Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
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I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
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Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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