he wants to bone in the snuggie
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
