I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
even my farts smell like vagina
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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