He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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