she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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