I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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