I think my fart just growled at me.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
