What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
