I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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