i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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