If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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