then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
