The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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