Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
