Rock
Scissors
Fuck
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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