I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
i out mim tonsoeep
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
