We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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