And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
