my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
