And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
