At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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