You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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