He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
