I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
