i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
