I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
