A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
