I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
