so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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