if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
