Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
