My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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