If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
