Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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