im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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