Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
