So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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