My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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