this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
