This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
