pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
