you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
