The maid of honor just puked.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
